Ahem...

I don't what it is; I feel like I've lost the ability to anachronize and synthesize the life around me. Maybe it's the different city, maybe it's my current lack of reading, maybe I'm getting old and the drag racing outside doesn't interest me anymore. Nonetheless, as I've always said and written, there appears to be little paths of a graceful nature for overcoming or surpassing or climbing past the thirtieth milestone. And to be truthful, I've accorded little importance to this inevitability, this minor hump in the 'road'. This is a result of the paths of others: uneventful, unimportant, unnoticed, underappreciated. These are the insecurities that surround me like an Iroquois fortress, staves pointed to the firmament. With eyes looking upward, few are aware or interested or knowing of what lies ahead, whether that knowledge be substantial or haphazard, whether tools are available to manage, to mitigate, to handle what is to come, what they are predestined to become or what they are pre-programmed to already be. Definitions aren't always known at the start. People wrestle with them: on beaches, in offices, with sore feet and tired minds; we all discover for good or ill what we're here for, what we're good for and who it is we're meant to mean to ourselves. The inside comes eventually out.

S*
2006.06.16